Pslam 13 my first "sermon"
I preached my first "sermon" well it was a chapel message at Holland Christian High School. I got up in front of 800 students and however many teachers. I think it went okay. I wish that I would have had it completely memorized, but I didn't have time. There were a couple of times where my nervous almost got the best of me, but I just slowed down and tried to regain composure.
If you're interested here's the message...
Psalm 13
In Psalm 13, the writer cries out:
1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the LORD's praise,
for he has been good to me.
One warm summer night, Kurt and his friends Bryan, Scott, and Travis decided to go swimming at a local farm pond about 5 miles outside of town. All four boys were enjoying a summer of freedom before they started college in the fall.
Scott said, “I bet I can beat all of you across the pond.” “Yeah right Scott, maybe if my left arm was broken,” replied Bryan.
So the guys decided to race from one end of the pond to the other end. “Ready. Set. GO!” And they were off.
Bryan made it the other side first with Scott and Travis close behind. The three guys climbed to shore. “Where’s Kurt?” asked Travis.
They turned around and looked at the pond. Kurt had only made it half way, and he was struggling to keep himself above the surface. At first the guys froze before reality kicked in. They jumped back into the water and swam as fast as they could towards Kurt. The three guys didn’t utter a word to each other; the only sound was the frantic swim strokes of the boys. They could see Kurt slipping below the surface as they began to close the distance between them and Kurt. Their muscles were slowing due to exhaustion.
By the time they reached the middle of the pond they couldn’t find Kurt. They kept searching and searching. Travis swam back to shore and ran to call for help. They finally found Kurt, but it was too late. Kurt was dead.
The boys hadn’t been drinking; it wasn’t a reckless action. All of them were healthy and athletic guys that had swam multiple times across that pond over the years. Kurt may have cramped up in the middle of the pond and panic may have set in.
Questions must have flooded into the boys’ minds as the shock wore off and the difficult reality set in. So where is God? How could He let this happen? Kurt’s death seems so pointless. What kind of God would allow this to happen?
Put yourself in Travis, Byran, and Scott’s position.
How would you talk to God? Could you even talk to him?
The Psalmist in Psalm 13 feels a lot like Bryan, Travis, and Scott. The Psalmist feels like God has forgotten about him. The Psalmist emphasizes his point by stating that God has intentionally hidden his face from the Psalmist. The Psalmist confronts God with four “How long” questions. He doesn’t want information from God to answer his questions; he’s accusing, protesting and questioning God. Simply put: The Psalmist is pissed off at God. He feels forgotten, alone, confused, and defeated. The Psalmist knows who God is, and what he has promised to do. He’s yelling because he knows that God is listening. Psalmist is telling God that life isn’t right. There is injustice. Things need to change, and God is responsible to change them. In verse 3 the Psalmist writes 3 imperatives for God to look, answer, and give light to his eyes. The Psalmist is telling God what to do. The Psalmist is extremely bold here because he is putting himself at the same level as God, the high King, by making these demands. The Psalmist is claiming some kind of authority to do so. He knows that his relationship with God can handle his crying out in raw emotion and protesting the evil and pain in the Psalmist’s life. The Psalmist cries, “How long, O Lord.”
Like the Psalmist, we feel like God has forgotten about us and has intentionally turned his face away from us. We want to scream “how long, O Lord” at God’s face. Maybe we live in a home that isn’t safe from emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Maybe someone very close to us has been diagnosed with cancer. Maybe we have friends that have all of the sudden alienated us for no reason.
We want to tell God what He should be doing. He should be stopping the pain and evil in this life. But we often stop short. We don’t yell at God. We bottle it up. We’re scared. Can we really accuse God of leaving us? Can we question why God put us in a dysfunctional family? Why friends and family are diagnosed with terminal illnesses? Why has a friend started a false rumor that has spread around the school? And the ultimate question: Why isn’t God being God?
Questioning God doesn’t seem right or okay to do. In our heads, we may falsely think, “If I’m a good enough Christian with a strong enough faith, I’ll be able to see the good out of this horrible situation. God is sovereign and wills everything. God must be willing this pain in my life.” Or maybe we think, “Christ suffered on the Cross, and maybe I’m supposed to suffer too.” We use illogical logic tells us that it is a lack of faith to question God in our prayers or out loud. Maybe if we don’t voice our emotions and feelings, then maybe they don’t exist. Can we really trust God that he can handle what we throw at him even when we’re in deep sorrow and darkness? Do we trust that God can handle our raw anger, frustration, confusion?
The Psalmist does trust that God can handle his anger, frustration, and confusion. The Psalmist knows that he can come before God and scream “How long O Lord?” There is shift in mood from the Psalmist lament to God in verses 1-4 to a confession of trust in God in verse 5. Although this shift seems so quick from him being pissed off to trusting and praising God, the Psalmist is in a covenantal relationship with God. It’s an agreement between him and God that God will never leave him and that he will be faithful to his people.
The Psalmist states in verse 3 “Look on me and answer, LORD my God.” Here he is claiming not only that God is his God, but that he, the psalmist, is still one of God’s covenant people. The Psalmist is remembering the promises of God to his people of “I am the Lord your God” that are repeated throughout the Old Testament. The Psalmist knows that he can come before God and protest the injustice and pain and command God to act. The Psalmist knows that God is listening to him even from the deep darkness that surrounds him; otherwise he wouldn’t put forth the effort to write the Psalm. The Psalmist knows that God is not just hearing but listening and will act. God is big enough and strong enough to handle what the Psalmist accuses him.
Even though God hasn’t acted, the Psalmist trusts that God will in the future. In verse 6 the Psalmist will “sing the LORD's praise, for he has been good.” The Psalmist is holding onto that and places his hope in that.
Like the Psalmist we can trust in God that he can handle our anger, frustration, and confusion. God is our God, and we are his people. We don’t have to just talk to God. We, Christians, chosen by God, can yell at Him. We can scream out at the pain and in the injustice of this world. God even helps us by giving us scripture that conveys our anger, hurt, and frustration against Him. He allows his people to yell and scream at him. He’s big enough to take it. It’s not like he doesn’t know what we’re thinking anyways. God allows us to speak that way to him. We’re not in danger of losing our salvation or faith. He has created a paradigm that we can come before Him, almighty God, in faith. We don’t have to be “proper and put together Christians” all the time. It’s impossible to do. There is injustice in this world, and there is a lot of pain. We suffer, and God is the only one that can help us.
One third of the Psalms are filled with lament Psalms where the writers protest what is happening in their lives and the oppression and suffering they are experiencing. God has created such an intimate relationship with his people that we can directly come to him and lay everything out honestly. We can come to God when our emotions are raw and our thoughts are confused. God has given us Scripture to help us in the process of lament, and he has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us through the process. We’re not alone in our sorrow.
Psalm 13 and other Psalms 5, 40,44 to name a few show us that: We can state that things in life are horrible like Kurt’s death. Something has to be done because things can’t stay the same. We won’t accept the present situation because it’s not fair and it’s unjust. It’s God’s obligation to change the situation. Lament is the way that we process pain. Naming our feelings and our pain, then pains lessens its strength and strangle hold on our life and faith. In our distress we can yell at God, “how long?” because he listens to us. He responds with Jesus Christ’s crucifixion. Christ has been victorious over death, and when Christ comes again he will usher in the fullness of the Kingdom of God. There will be no more pain and suffering, and we can continue to come directly before God to speak with him. We will no longer cry out “How long, O lord.” God will restore all of his creation and end pain and suffering forever. We will sing like the Psalmist "the LORD's praise, for he has been good to me." Amen.
Chicago!
I've escaped Grand Rapids for a week and half in Chicago. I've been enjoying running by the lake in the mornings (well whenever I decide to get out of bed), watching TV, hanging out with my college friends, and exploring the city. Also, I went to an old motorcycle bar called the Twisted Spoke with Sarah and a woman from her church. I ate a half pound burger with everything on it-it was soooo good.
Here's the story of one of my marriage proposal...
The waiter questioned me, "Are you sure you want everything on it? It has like 4 kinds of cheese on it."
Me, "Why, not?"
He responded, "That's so awesome."
I finished the hamburger and ate some of my fries and the pickle. He came back and asked, "Did you eat the whole thing without any help?"
Me, "Yep." That was all I could muster because I was so full.
He asked, "If you like beer, I'd marry you."
Me, "I like beer too." I thought he was going to buy me one, but no luck.
He went on to say something about me probably not wanting his number (which was true.) I was having trouble listening to him since I was so full. Here's the documentary...
The beginning....
Yum...
I could barely get it in my mouth. There were like 6 pieces of bacon (not the thin precooked kind).
After the first bite...
I'm sooo happy right now. It's so good.
The end...I'm wishing I would have stopped 20 bites ago. I was experiencing a massive food coma.
Hmm...too much time...
I keep thinking that I'm going to get back and update everyone. Well it's been a while, and I can't remember everything that has happened.
1. At the beginning of May, I went home for Tulip Time. I had a great time with my family and friends. Also, I ate a TON of food which is the main point of Tulip Time.
2. I finished the end of my second year of seminary on May 16. It was horribly busy, and I felt that I did mediocre work. I've gotten some of my grades back, and they were not as high as I was hoping. Luckily my scholarships don't count on a GPA neither will my job. There's not much difference between 3.6 and a 3.5, well that's what I keep telling myself. I can't believe I have 2 years of seminary past me.
3. I started a 2 week summer class on May 19, yeah I had a weekend before I started classes again. NOT enough! I was still pretty burnt out. The class was on Urban Ministries but there was only 2 of us in the class. The other guy was in his upper fifties, and he help me know it everyday. It was a hard class to go to because discussions were a little lopsided. I had to write a short paper and then a 15-18 page paper. This almost killed me because I couldn't focus that long. Anyways, I choose the topic of Spiritual Warfare. I don't really remember learning about it in school or church. The CRC has had some discussion lately due to the Synodical 2007 Study Report on 3rd Wave Pentacostalism (which is a review of the stance in 1973). Also CRCpublications has published two books that touch on the subjects-
Signs and Wonders: Reformed look at the Spirit's ongoing work by Algera and
Spiritual Warfare: what the Bible teaches, what you need to know by Jeff Stam. The main thing that I came away with after writing the paper is that the Devil works on 3 fronts. Evil works through our sinful nature (indirectly-also referred to as fleshly desires), the world and it's evil systems
, and the devil's and demon's direct involvement (the cosmic warfare of good and evil). In Reformed Circles we are really good at recognizing the first two-our sinful state and the evil world systems, but we shy away from the third. We are scarred that we'll be labeled fanatic Pentecostals or charismatics to name things as a the active, direct work of the devil. But it's a reality the devil is active in our world-in North America. We should be able to name evil-the source of it-without trying to put the blame on our actions. Some things are just out of our control because Satan is assaulting, attacking us. The ONLY thing to do is pray for God's intervening. We can't do anything, Satan's too powerful. Now the danger (which many Reformed people are validly concerned about) is becoming consumed with the work of the devil by trying to name and rank the demons or living in fear of his actions. We cannot live lives of fear, but we live in lives of hope that Jesus has conquered the Devil through Jesus' death and resurrection. We live in the Kingdom of God, and the devil has been defeated. When Jesus comes again the Kingdom of God will come to full completion. There will be no more sin. This is what we must focus on-this is our hope and joy. We must acknowledge the evil in the world and try to diminish as much as possible. But when it comes down to it, we have to have faith that God will do the fighting for us. He will continue to bring forth His Kingdom in this world. (Maybe I should be come a preacher?!? Haha, NOOOO way!) I just wanted to share that with you.
4. I finished my paper on Sunday, and started a new class on Monday.... In between finishing and Monday, I got a flat tire. 3.5 hours later, I was back on the road. I had to get 4 different people to help me....so annoying! I've finished my second class on "The Theology and Practice of Pastoral Ministry." It was a great class. The only downside is that it's over and it was 6 hours every day Mon-Thur and 3 hours on Friday. I'll write what I took away from that class after I've finished the papers and books. Plus, this post is getting a little long...
Happy Birthday to Me and other such stuff...
It's official. I'm 24. I've been 24 for a week, and it's not that great. The only difference is now I have to buy my own health insurance-which basically means I'm going the buy the cheapest plan and skip any annual check up visits until I get a "real job..." The good things is that I'm pretty healthy and don't have any major meds that I take.
The birthday itself was uneventful because I spent most of the day in the airport and driving back to GR. I was going back to school from spring break in TX. All in all it was a good trip. We spent most of the time pool side and playing cards. (Pictures to come)
My elder sent me a card asking me to let the church know what I was up to, so I thought I would include the letter on my blog for your enjoyment...or just stop reading after this if you aren't interested. (I won't be offended because it's kind of long...)
Things are going pretty well at Calvin Seminary despite that it keeps me very busy. I’m finishing up my 3rd quarter of my second year at seminary. I finally seem to be getting the hang of this seminary thing. My first year was very hard adapting to a different kind of learning and environment. This year, I’m more familiar with what the professors require, but this year has been difficult I’m learning Greek and Hebrew at the same time! I have about 500+ Greek and 300+ Hebrew vocabulary words getting jumbled around in my mind. God has been so faithful in guiding me and strengthening me, so that I have been able to maintain a high GPA to be eligible for scholarships each year. I am anticipating graduation in May of 2009 with a Master’s in Divinity degree. Due to the curriculum changes in the last year, I have decided to finish my Master’s of Divinity degree in three years instead of four years. This requires me to take a couple of summer classes right after the 3rd quarter ends. I can’t believe only have a year left! I will have to finish my 10 week congregational based internship after I graduate. I’ve been debating about extending my internship to a yearlong internship at a Christian school (maybe at an overseas missionary school?) I am planning on receiving my degree, but I am not going to candidate or seek ordination. I really feel God calling me to teach in a classroom setting. Part of my program requires that I preach 6 sermons, but since I’m not going to be ordained the field education coordinator will allow me to replace the sermons with chapel speeches at local Christian schools.
While in seminary, I’ve grown so much and been challenged to evaluate my beliefs and my reasons for why I hold those beliefs. Don’t worry, I’m still Reformed to the core! Some of the issues I’ve been wrestling with:
1. Women in Office/Ministry. I feel caught in the middle at times in discussions surrounding this topic because of the stance of our classis and church, my female classmates, and what the Bible says. I do not feel God’s leading me to be ordained to serve in the church, but after studying the Scriptures I am still somewhat confused. I do not see a clear “answer” in the Bible other than to continually be faithful to God’s laws and be led by the spirit. I see and cannot deny the God given gifts of preaching, pastoral care, and leadership in my Christian sisters, and I have listened to their call stories to the ministry.
2. I just got back from a week long seminar called SCUPE: God’s Reign in Our City sponsored by the Seminary Consortium for Urban Pastoral Education. The seminar focused on God’s work in urban settings and the challenges and issues that are relevant to that setting (which could spill into our future ministry. During the seminars focused working poor, returning citizens who have been incarcerated, evangelism to Muslims, and unjust wars, I felt convicted through the workshops that I attended to begin to identify injustice that I see around me-the systems that perpetuate and exacerbate injustice. Also how I contribute to and if I fight against injustice. Social justice is often seen as a negative thing, but it’s our calling to love ourselves but also to love our neighbors. I’ve been evaluating how the church that I am attending in GR is loving and ministering to their immediate local community. What ministries are they doing to meet the needs of those in the community and at the same time living and speaking the Gospel in the world.
After I finish my summer classes in mid/late June, I will begin preparing to help lead the “Facing Your Future” program hosted by the seminary. The focus of the program is to promote ministry as a lifelong vocation. I attended when I was in high school after being nominated by Pastor Zeilstra and Mr. Jason Leif, and I learned so much. It helped discern my calling, introduced me to lifelong ministry friends, and challenged me to think about how my knowledge of God should really influence my daily life. For the first 10 days, the participates listen to lectures by seminary professors, learn about the different CRC ministries, and visit different CRC churches in Grand Rapids and other religious worship spaces. I encourage the council and pastor to evaluate the young people in our congregation, search out leaders, and nominate them to participate on the program. The “Facing Your Future” program was the best high school program I have experienced due to its focus and depth.
Thank you for letting me take your time to share with you what is going on in my life. I’m excited to see how God is working in our church and community. I’m planning on visiting home for Tulip Time. Lola Spoelstra is making me a new costume, so look for me in the baby parade! If you have any questions or comments please find me after church on the Sunday after Tulip Time. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support not only during my time at seminary but throughout my life as I’m discerning God’s leading in my life.
Snow...
It snowed again last night...ugh...
Spring?
I'm ready for spring. It just keeps snowing. Last weekend, was ridiculous-almost all of the churches canceled their Good Friday services. We got so much snow, it's finally beginning to disappear today-it's still only low 40's not including windchill. Luckily I'm leaving for spring break in a week and half...Texas here I come!
I got in!
Last night I found out that I'm going to be an FYF leader this summer! (I was nervous because there were more applicants than leader positions.) Calvin Seminary runs a 3 week program called "Facing your Future" in July for high school juniors and seniors. The program is focused on encouraging the students to seriously consider ministry as a life long vocation. Ministry, in this context, is focused on working with the church or denominational agencies. (Ministry in the general sense is what we as Christians are called to in all of life whatever our job is.) The students spend about half of the program in Grand Rapids learning from seminary professor lectures, visiting various religious institutions, theologically reflecting in small groups, and having a little fun doing it. Then in the second half they go to an excursion site to see concretely ministry in the world like church planting with Home Missions, World Relief, World missions work. I'm so excited to have the opportunity to work with high school students again because I'll be able to apply some of the things that I've learned from seminary. Also, I'll hope to renew my calling/excited to do ministry with them...sometimes I get too caught up and bogged down doing homework and getting good grades that I forget about the ministry calling.
In other news, I've trying 2 new things. I'm taking salsa lessons with a friend. I'm terrible at it-horrible...but hopefully I'll get better. It's fun, but frustrating at the same time. I'm learning to play ping-pong. We have a table at seminary, and it's a nice change of pace during a day of class. I'm not ready to take on the Korean students, but I'm beginning to get as good as the Americans. I've been working on my topspin forehand-luckily my tennis skills are somewhat beneficial.
